My pregnant (with Z) belly, about five and a half months along.
When I was pregnant with my third child, people who knew me and knew that I had two daughters with disabilities did not give me that line of “As long as the baby is healthy.” Some were uneasy; they knew that I had the chance of having another child with a disability. They knew that besides blindness, my children had been somehow affected by autism, learning disorders, and a seizure disorder. Some asked if I thought this third baby would have a disability. I answered that only God knew. To strangers who would say that line, I would say, “Well healthy or not, I’m happy for the baby.” And some people had a perplexed look but no response.
People are supposed to want healthy, perfect babies, right? If not, there is genetic testing then pressuring to ”terminate the pregnancy” and “try again” for a healthy baby. That is why about 90% of children diagnosed with Down Syndrome in the womb are aborted. I remember after having my first daughter who is legally blind because she had bilateral congenital cataracts, I read about a couple who aborted two subsequent babies because their first child had bilateral cataracts. I was surprised and even wondered how they knew because I didn’t know of any tests to test for that. And I never found out with my two other children because I did not want to know about such tests.
So when I gave birth to my son, I had a dilemna. How was I to feel if he indeed did have a disability? I had been down this road twice before. My first thought was that I did not want him to have the cataracts or anything that would require the risk of surgery under anesthesia. I’m always stressed as my children undergo the several hours worth of surgery under anesthesia but each of the times (14 + in total) they’ve been thankfully well. I thought if my son did need sugery, I would pray that he would go through the surgeries well because that was all I could do. And another thing I could do was love him just the way he was, just the way the Lord made him.