Today, I turn to my friend Kiki and this moving Lenten post she wrote on Medium about grief:
“The ocean is never still. Whether observing from the beach or a boat, we expect to see waves on the horizon. Waves are created by energy passing through water, causing it to move in a circular motion. However, water does not actually travel in waves. Waves transmit energy, not water, across the ocean and if not obstructed by anything, they have the potential to travel across an entire ocean basin.”Since my Dad died in October, I have lost 3 people in my circles. Today, I learned of the 3rd person’s death. She was only 52. Grief is an emotion that we say goes away. It doesn’t, it hides and pops up in the most unexpected ways. Blessed are those who mourn, we shall be comforted. I wrote this last week. Then another friend died last Saturday, she was only 43.
This is not a long meditation. In my Dad’s passing, I finally understand I carry the emotion of grief daily. Like with all other emotions, I learn I must practice balance. When grief starts to come on I don’t confront it nor ignore it. I ride it out like how I ride the waves in the ocean. Any time I turn my back on an incoming wave because I don’t see the size it is rolling into, when it hits me I fall under the water. Or there are times I confront the wave thinking I am stronger than it but I am knocked to my knees. But when I decide to stay still, observe how the waves are coming to shore, I am steady; allowing myself to ride along with the ocean. I am not overwhelmed by the water, I am firmly planted. Grief is normal.
God allowed Jeremiah to lament all his emotions which included grief for five chapters of the book of Lamentations. Jesus would always remove the paid mourners but he was gentle to those who were in real grief. I think of the women who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears. The woman carried her alabaster box with her, she gave up on her dreams or thought marriage wouldn’t happen for her. Grief comes in all forms. The area grief that is a constant for me is MS removing high heels from my daily life, high heels were part of my persona. I can no longer walk in them. We grieve even the things that may seem trivial to others. So as we are in a new era, mourn the things you have lost, no matter how big or small. It’s okay. “God blesses those people who grieve. They will find comfort!”Matthew 5:4 CEV
What God told Job about the ocean…
“And who took charge of the ocean when it gushed forth like a baby from the womb? That was me! I wrapped it in soft clouds, and tucked it in safely at night. Then I made a playpen for it, a strong playpen so it couldn’t run loose, And said, ‘Stay here, this is your place. Your wild tantrums are confined to this place.’”
“Hope” is the thing with feathers — (314)
By Emily Dickison
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops — at all –
And sweetest — in the Gale — is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet — never — in Extremity,
It asked a crumb — of me.
To read the rest of the post, which includes some of the books, music, and shows Kiki turns to while grieving, click here.