Note: This post originally appeared on my old blog, Far Above Rubies, on July 31, 2012. ~Li
After posting this last week, I felt conflicted. Well, maybe more than just conflicted. I think it’s safe to say I felt scared. My number of hits for the piece were actually better than most of my stuff lately, so people were checking it out. But… aside from April and Don, no one made any comments. On the FAR Facebook page, it didn’t get a single “Like”. Sure, a number of my posts don’t get feedback. That’s why in that little “About Me” bar to the right, I “HINT, HINT, HINT” that comments are welcome. I felt this was different, though. It wasn’t so much disinterest (especially with the higher amount of views) as sheer dislike. Had I offended my fellow Christians? Had I inadvertently stepped on some highly polished Sunday shoes? Don wrote, “One thing I can say about your blog and apparently you as a person – if whatever topic clearly goes against your Christian core, you don’t bite your tongue for nothing and no one. Lol.” The emphasis is all mine. And yes, he’s right. Very much so. I am opinionated. Sarcastic. Talk a lot (poor, poor K). The only time I’m biting my tongue is when I’m flapping my mouth so much I accidentally do so. I sat mulling over me. Why can’t I be like other Christians? I just don’t fit in. Yeah, sure, I might not be fluent in Christianese, but I can totally hold my own in conversation. I have listened to my fair share of Casting Crowns and Third Day, have watched more than a couple of Nooma videos, and read my fair share of Francis Chan and Don Miller. Yet, I still don’t fit in. I try, yes, but wind up seeming like Andrea in the first couple seasons of “Beverly Hills, 90210” classic. Poor nerdy tag-along, hopping buses from my grandma’s teeny out of district apartment to shadow behind Branden and Brenda at West Beverly.